The rate of divorce in Lagos is becoming increasingly high, experts say most cases of divorce in the city are filed on the grounds of abuse, or what’s legally termed ‘negligence’.
But term abuse and what amounts to abuse has long been put up for debate, especially when determining whether psychological trauma has been afflicted on a person during marriage.
However, beyond cheating and physical abuse, Naij.com has taken a deeper look at the root causes of increasing divorce in Lagos, most of which lie outside the confines of abuse. Here are 5 major reasons divorce is on the increase in Nigeria’s most populous city, these reasons to a great extent are very peculiar to Lagos as well as a few other metropolitan cities across the world.
No Time
Research has shown that over half the general population in Lagos, spend an average of at least seven hours on the road daily. Most people work a normal 8am to 5pm job, but can’t get home until about 9-to-10pm, only to wake up by 4am the next day to meet up with work.
Research has shown that over half the general population in Lagos, spend an average of at least seven hours on the road daily. Most people work a normal 8am to 5pm job, but can’t get home until about 9-to-10pm, only to wake up by 4am the next day to meet up with work.
This is due to the heavy traffic that is experienced everyday on Lagos highways, some grid locks can last for more than 3 hours. Hence some persons sleep on their way to and from work, never getting to have dinner or breakfast with their loved ones.
Frequent complaints of traffic delays can be a source of conflict at home
One woman who filed for divorce at Apapa, said she would quit her marriage because her husband was never giving her enough time. Her husband, a banker who works on the Lagos Island is said to always leave the house by 4am only to return by 1am the next day because he had to wait for the traffic to subside before coming home.
The woman said she only sees him on the weekends, but never gets the best of him because he is always too tired to live up to his marital obligations due to his rigorous week.
Lagos Women Don’t Cook
In line with the ‘no time’ syndrome in Lagos, it has been observed that most ladies in Lagos find it hard to cook. Glady’s whose husband made complaints about her not cooking, when ask why she doesn’t cook, she said it was totally impossible for a woman who works in Lagos to cook that often. Gladys further said that with the stress of each day, it is only best to try to cook once a week.
Like Gladys, most ladies in Lagos rarely have time for themselves, so cooking is most times ruled out of their daily routines. “Many prefer to constantly patronize eateries, and stuff themselves with junks and pastries,” Said Segun Agboola, another concerned husband. Segun further stressed that : “this causes the men to eat out and from eating out they begin to look outside their homes.”
A lot of men in Lagos are forced to patrobise local bukas, because the ladies dont cook.
From findings, it has been observed that the best most ladies in Lagos do, is to pay some caterers to prepare soups and stews that will last over a month, then all they need do is prepare the other lighter go with. With the soups and stews in the freezer, most of the ladies are beginning to tie up this loose-end of their marriages.
Party Freaks
Many cases of divorce arise as a result of regular partying. Lagos has been described as a city that is ever in the groove, with bars, clubs and other hangout spots virtually everywhere. Those who have visited Lagos would attest that it is true what they say, ‘no party like the Lagos party’.
Partying is one of the major reasons for divorce in Lagos.
In Lagos, there is virtually an ‘Owambe’ (term for party) every day, although the major events hold on the weekends, yet you will find so many gigs on week days, clubs are ever filled to the brim from and sociology-analysts say that the partying that characterizes Lagos is a major way Lagosians ease their stress off.
It is noted that while socialising to a great extent in the present society is permissible, still it becomes a problem to the home, when either of the spouses involved over indulges.
Hostile hospitality
Living in Lagos could be very tough and research has shown that most people over time become very aggressive. From having to jump in and out of vehicles, to crossing the highways; Eko can be very tough.
Due to this, many people transfer the aggression of their daily Lagos routine to their homes and this does not augur well.
Due to this, many people transfer the aggression of their daily Lagos routine to their homes and this does not augur well.
Lagos can be very tough and many tend to acquire a hostile attitude due to daily encounters.
A woman said that her husband was fond of using curse words and was ever hostile. She said though he had a nice paying job, he seemed ever angry, especially while driving. Burdened by the traffic jams daily, and the reckless maneuvers of bus drivers and bikers, he would always use swear words which she said were becoming unbearable. She said she was ready to quit because he seem incorrigible.
Sex machine
A sexless marriage they say is a common trigger for divorce globally. But few weeks back, a man in Ketu (Alapere area of Lagos) wanted to divorce his wife because of too much sex.
In his petition, the man described his wife as having an “excessive and insatiable appetite for sex” ever since their marriage in April 2010.
In his petition, the man described his wife as having an “excessive and insatiable appetite for sex” ever since their marriage in April 2010.
A sexless marriage is no marriage at all, but what happens when the sex becomes too much.
According to media reports, he alleged that she would force him to have sex, even at times when he was sick, and threatened to sleep with other men when he refused.
He said his wife’s “cruelty” and her “obstinate, aggressive, stubborn and autocratic” nature had made it difficult for him to live with her.
The magistrate court in Ikeja, ruled in the husband’s favour and granted a divorce after his wife failed to appear before the court, with the husband’s evidence remaining unchallenged.
He said his wife’s “cruelty” and her “obstinate, aggressive, stubborn and autocratic” nature had made it difficult for him to live with her.
The magistrate court in Ikeja, ruled in the husband’s favour and granted a divorce after his wife failed to appear before the court, with the husband’s evidence remaining unchallenged.
The life in Lagos can be very demanding on individuals and relationships, so everyone who resides in Lagos must look for a way of balancing and understanding the dynamics. If there are other major causes of divorce in Lagos which you feel we have not included, then do let us know in the response corner.
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